Entry tags:

nc-17

No Man Left Behind (NC-17)
Title: No Man Left Behind
Author: Sandy
Category: M/M Slash
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~6,800
Summary: It was Afghanistan all over again. Two of his men were trapped behind enemy lines and he was being ordered to retreat. He hadn't been able to leave his men behind then, and he was even less able to do so now.
Spoilers: Allies
Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own John & Rodney, alas I do not. I only make them have sex.
Beta: Many thanks to the wonderful linaerys who did a kick-ass job.
Feedback: Is lusted after and adored
A/N: Because I am as a god, I have changed some of the plot of Allies to suit myself and this fic.

~~~

The flash of battle was bright and heavy around him as he thrust and parried with his F-302. He weaved around the on-coming darts, firing his weapons and dodging return fire, trying to get close enough to the hive ship to fire on the hyperdrive system or at least the shields. If they could get the shields to drop, maybe McKay and Ronon could activate their emergency transponders and get off the ship before the Daedalus blew it up.

John still tasted the fear he'd felt when they hadn't beamed back aboard the Daedalus as they'd planned. He hadn't liked it when Rodney had insisted that he needed to be on-board the hive ship to observe the test of the delivery system he'd engineered. Once Elizabeth had given her consent, however, the only thing John could do was order Ronon to accompany Rodney as his bodyguard.

Pushing away all thoughts but those of the battle, John focused his attention on the fight; worrying about Rodney would only distract him from the job he had to do. When his headset crackled in his ear and he heard Colonel Caldwell order the F-302s back to the ship, John felt his blood run cold. It was Afghanistan all over again. Two of his men were trapped behind enemy lines and he was being ordered to retreat. He hadn't been able to leave his men behind then, and he was even less able to do so now.

John fired on another dart, destroying it, and slipped around the wreckage, determined to get closer to the hive ship. Caldwell's voice sounded through his headset again ordering him to return to the Daedalus; the hive ships were opening a hyperspace window. John's mouth went dry, and his hands tightened on the controls. He'd have to go back. He couldn't follow the ships through hyperspace, only the Daedalus could do that, and she was wounded. He knew that Caldwell wouldn't follow. A vision of Rodney drained of life, old and withered, a husk, a shell filled his mind, and a wave of despair flooded him.

The taste of defeat bitter on his tongue, he started to turn his fighter when he saw a shot from the Daedalus breach the hive ship's shields and destroy the sensors. They were blind, and he had the only chance he was going to get to rescue him...them. The darts headed back to the ship, and after the last one entered, John slipped in behind it just before the bay doors closed.

He could tell that the destruction of the sensor array had caused more damage than he'd realized when he flew unmolested into a far area of the ship and landed. Apparently the Daedalus had hit more than just the external sensor control because the darts were obviously not being guided by the automatic landing program that had taken control of the dart he'd flown so many months ago. John watched with fierce satisfaction as the darts crashed together or into the walls of the ship, raining debris and fire down onto the deck, causing mayhem to the Wraith below. John could only hope the sensors took a long while to fix so that his ship stayed hidden while he searched for his men. He prayed to whoever would listen that he would find them alive.

After removing his helmet and climbing out of the F-302, he gathered the weapons and gear that were part of the ship's standard equipment; insurance in case of a forced landing on a hostile planet. He thought about trying to contact Rodney and Ronon through their headsets, but decided to maintain radio silence for now. Chances were they had been relieved of their radios when the fighting had started, and John didn't want to alert the Wraith to his presence. He pushed aside the fear that he was too late, a fear so sharp he could nearly smell it, pushed the fear away until only the soldier, cold and deadly, was left. Silently he made his way through the bay, avoiding the drones scrambling about in the aftermath of the dart crashes.

He managed to get across the vast expanse of the bay without being detected, and had just exited into one of the corridors when he heard the heavy tread of footsteps heading his way. He slipped into a nearby crevice and watched as dozens of Wraith passed. When the last one was out of sight, he took his life signs detector out of his vest pocket.

There were so many human life signs that John felt bile burning the back of his throat. God, so many people culled by these monsters. None were very strong, however. He remembered that when he'd searched for Sumner, the Colonel's life sign had been strong enough to stand out; at least until the Caretaker had drained his life from him. John forced the memory aside. Memories of past failures had no place in his mind right now.

The interior of the hive ship was dark and shadowed and honeycombed with chambers and recesses. John took full advantage of them to duck out of the way when his scanner warned him of on-coming Wraith, all of them apparently headed for the dart bay. He moved cautiously through the corridors, the air heavy with the smell of dust and death and the acrid stench of the Wraith. His plan was to check out the area where the holding cells were located. Since all hive ships seemed to have the same layout, John was confident he'd be able to find the holding cells quickly. Based on his past experience, he believed he would probably find Ronon and Rodney locked away there, and with any kind of luck, he'd be able to break them out without being discovered.

As he moved through the ship, however, he realized it was going to take far longer than he'd anticipated to reach his goal. Bands of Wraith were moving throughout the ship, and John kept having to hide or find a way around them. He had just circled around one group working on repairs and had slipped into an empty corridor when once again, the heavy tread of feet warned him of the approach of a pack of Wraith. Ducking back, he searched for a hiding place and had barely squeezed into a tight crevice before the Wraith were stomping past him. John held his breath, afraid that even that tiny movement would alert one of them to his presence, but they passed by without noticing him. Since none of them carried stunners, John figured they must be yet another of the work crews he'd been coming across. He was gratified to see that the Daedalus had gotten in a few good licks before the hive ship had entered hyperspace.

It took over an hour of careful maneuvering before he finally found the cell area, but he knew what he was going to find even before he got there. His scanner showed no signs of human life in the area. With a silent curse, John slipped into an empty chamber and slid down a wall until he was sitting on his haunches. He unhooked his canteen from his belt and took a quick drink while he thought over the situation.

They were either in cocoons, or with the Wraith Queen being questioned. Or worse. They couldn't feed on Ronon, but they could still kill him. As for Rodney...the picture he'd had in his mind earlier of Rodney drained of life rose again unbidden. He pushed the image from his mind. Rodney wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. Whatever the duplicitous Wraith Queen was up to, surely she understood that Rodney was of far more use alive than as a quick meal. And a living Ronon could be used as leverage to get Rodney to cooperate. She had to understand that. John clenched his teeth and wiped sweat from his brow. Leaning his head back against the wall, he closed his eyes and took calming breaths.

After a couple minutes, he opened his eyes, reached into his pocket and took out a powerbar. Taking a bite of the scientist's favorite snack, his thoughts automatically turned to Rodney. He wasn't sure when the physicist had become so important to him; he only knew that he was. Memories of the past two years flooded his mind; memories of arguments and laughter and danger and adventure and harebrained schemes that Rodney somehow managed to make work. Somewhere along the way, Rodney and he had formed a partnership unlike anything John had ever experienced. It was an unlikely friendship, and yet Rodney McKay, for all his ego and histrionics, had become his best friend; more than his best friend if he wanted to be honest. Contemplating losing Rodney left John feeling cold and empty.

Finishing his powerbar, he stowed the wrapper in his pocket and stood up. Taking one last drink from his canteen, he considered his options. He could wait here and see if his men were brought to the cells, or he could wander through the ship and hope that he'd pick up their life signs. The longer he roamed the corridors, the greater the chances were he'd be discovered. Even so, he dismissed the idea of just waiting and hoping they'd show up. Pushing away from the wall, he checked the scanner before stepping back out into the corridor. He was going to find his men.

John lost track of time as he carefully made his way past cocoons filled with the victims of past cullings. He moved as silently as possible not wanting to alert any of the humans still somewhat aware of their surroundings that he was there. If one of them cried out, his presence might be detected by the Wraith. That he hadn't been detected so far was more a tribute to the damage the Daedalus had caused then to his stealth, since most of the Wraith he'd avoided had been work crews, not the more observant warrior drones.

He had just entered yet another corridor filled with cocoons when the scanner finally displayed what he was looking for; two strong, vital life signs in an area ahead and to the right of his present position. His heart started pounding, and he took a minute to calm himself before he moved on. Using extreme caution - the irony of getting captured now that it appeared he was so close to his goal not escaping him - he moved ahead with all senses alert. When he finally heard something, it was a sound that made his heart leap in his chest and his knees go weak.

"Hurry up!" McKay hissed. "We really need to get out of here before the Queen decides she'd rather have a tasty snack than keep us around for gloating purposes, by which snack I mean me since they can't-"

"Shut up, McKay," Ronon growled, interrupting Rodney's tirade.

John grinned at the exchange. They were trussed into cocoons, but for some reason, they were still fully alert instead of in the stupor John had seen the others in. Ronon had one of his many knives in his hand and was awkwardly trying to cut through the tough cords. The thick, sticky bindings didn't allow much movement, however.

"Need some help?" John asked as he stepped out of the shadows and into their line of sight

McKay's head whipped around and his eyes widened. "Sheppard! Oh, thank God."

"You two okay?" John asked as he stepped forward and drew out his heavy, sharp combat knife, his eyes quickly scanning Rodney for damage. Satisfied that he was unhurt, John began to cut through the dense cords that held Ronon captive.

"Just peachy," Rodney snapped. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to get out of this thing."

"In a minute, Rodney," John said as he continued to slice through the tendrils that surrounded Ronon. As much as he wanted to free Rodney, his first priority was to free his warrior. Ronon could then stand guard while John freed his scientist.

It took a little while, but at last the final thick band that held Ronon in the cocoon was cut. Handing Ronon his P90, he turned his attention to Rodney. Looking into the other man's eyes, he said softly, "You okay?"

Rodney gave him a sick little smile. "As much as I can be. Sheppard," he added in a desperately scared whisper, "they're headed for Earth."

John looked up sharply from where he was cutting at Rodney's bindings and said, "What?"

"That's what this was all about. It was a ruse to find out how to get to Earth," Rodney told him, his fear patent in his eyes. "We have to stop them."

John just nodded and quickly finished freeing him.

"Any ideas how we can stop them?" John asked.

Rodney nodded. "I thought of a plan while Ronon was trying to cut himself loose. The first step is to use Carson's retrovirus." He continued whispering while John led them away from the cocoons. "We use it in the CO₂ chamber just like we planned. Then while they're transforming, we get to the bridge, and I hack into the ship's computer system and program the engines to self-destruct."

"That's only one ship, Rodney," John said, leading them out of the exposed passageway and into one of the out-of-the-way cul-de-sacs he'd found during his search. Taking out his canteen, he passed it first to Rodney and then to Ronon. "There's another one out there."

"Yes, thank you. I'm well aware of that, Colonel," McKay snapped unwrapping the powerbar John handed him and chewing furiously. "As usual, you expect me to pull some miracle out of my ass to take out the other ship." Then with a sigh he added, "I'll do what I can."

John's eyes met the frightened, determined blue eyes and he squeezed Rodney's arm reassuringly. "I know you will, Rodney. Now, do you know where the retrovirus is?"

Rodney blinked at John's compliment and then frowned at the question. "Well, if they haven't destroyed it or moved it, then yes, I do." His brows drew together, and he said, "I got a little turned around when they were dragging me to the cocoon, but I'm pretty sure I can find my way back."

John knew that Rodney had probably been in full panic mode at the time. He thought of the terror Rodney had been in and a fresh wave of anger flashed through him. He really, really wanted to kill this hive and their bitch of a Queen.

"Okay, good," John said. "Let's go."

John led the way out of the cul-de-sac, his eyes continually darting to the scanner he held in his left hand while he gripped his 9mm in his right hand. Rodney followed close behind and indicated which way they should go by taps on John's arm and pointing fingers. Ronon brought up the rear carrying John's P90.

Once again, it was a slow process as they made their way though the halls, made harder with three of them trying to avoid detection. Rodney got turned around a couple times, but he managed to lead them to the chamber where the canister of retrovirus was stored. The door to the chamber was locked, but it took Rodney less than thirty seconds to get it opened.

Ronon smiled in grim pleasure when they found his weapons in the room along with Rodney's equipment. While they gathered their belongings and the canister, John filled them in on their current situation.

"So," Rodney said slowly, "we're stuck on a hive ship that's god knows where in the galaxy."

"'Fraid so," John said.

McKay grimaced. "Great." He looked over at John and said acerbically, "Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the idea of being a martyr?"

"We're not going to be martyrs, Rodney," John said forcefully. "We'll take care of this ship, and then we'll get out."

"And then what?" Rodney asked as he buckled on his sidearm. "If there aren't any planets capable of sustaining life close by, we're still going to die, just more slowly from hypoxia."

John opened his mouth to protest when Ronon growled, "You two going to keep arguing until we reach your home planet?" Rodney glared at Ronon, but then sighed and finished gathering his equipment. When he was ready, John led the way with Rodney following behind carrying the all-important canister of retrovirus.

They did more ducking and weaving as they made their way to the area that contained the atmospheric controls, but they continued to avoid all the patrols and repair crews. They were passing through an area filled with cocoons when one of the encased men awakened enough to cry out, "Help me."

Rodney stopped and began to turn back, but John ordered, "Keep moving," his voice just loud enough for Rodney to hear.

"That man-"

"We can't help him," John whispered coldly. "We can't help any of them."

Rodney glanced back at the man, but kept moving, his shoulders hunched in on himself. John felt sick leaving the man behind crying out weakly, and he suspected that Rodney considered him a heartless bastard, but right now, completing their mission was far more important than helping some cocooned stranger. Trying to free anyone from the cocoons was a useless gesture anyway. If Rodney was able to program the self-destruct, they were condemning all the helpless victims on the ship to death. John hated it, but it wasn't the first time they'd killed the innocent to destroy the Wraith. It was a fact he lived with every day of his life.

When they finally reached their destination, they found two warrior drones stationed there guarding the all-important system. Ronon's stunner took them out easily enough, and they ran forward, dragging the unconscious guards into the room with them. Once inside, Ronon quickly and efficiently dispatched them with a second shot from his gun. John saw Rodney's mouth tighten into a thin line, but the scientist kept silent. Ronon stood guard while Rodney worked feverishly. As the minutes slipped by, John began to worry.

Too long, he thought. It's taking too long.

He kept glancing between where Rodney was working and where Ronon stood like a Sphinx. He was beginning to feel fatigue seeping into his body, but he ignored it. There was still too much to do to give into his need to rest. Once the gas was set off, they'd have to wait the fifteen minutes or so it would take for the transformation to begin. The Wraith would be incapacitated then, and he and his team could make their way to the bridge so Rodney could program the self-destruct sequence. After that, there would be no time to waste. They had to get to the bay where the F-302 was hidden and out of the ship before it exploded.

Everything hinged on McKay, and John watched as the scientist's fingers moved unerringly over controls and valves, a deep, burning pride in the other man filling him. He had to grip his hands tightly around his P90 to keep from touching him, the desire to feel Rodney's solid warmth under his hands almost a physical need.

At last, Rodney stepped back and drew in a deep breath. "It's ready," he said, his voice shaking slightly, and glanced at Sheppard expectantly.

"Deploy," John ordered.

With a nod, Rodney put his hand out, touched a panel and pushed. John could hear a whoosh as the canister emptied its contents into the system. Rodney watched the indicator light closely, and when it read 'empty', he dropped his hand.

"Now we wait," he said softly.

It took forever, though John's watch told him that only eighteen minutes had passed before the screams started, barely audible at first, but louder as more and more Wraith began the transformation. John saw Rodney's face go white as the screaming intensified, and he turned wide blue eyes on John. This time John couldn't stop himself from reaching over and giving his arm a comforting rub.

"Come on," he said. "Let's finish this up and go home."

Rodney swallowed and nodded. Ronon straightened up from where he'd been slouching by the door and they left, this time with Rodney leading the way. They didn't worry about using caution now. Screaming in agony and writhing on the ground, the Wraith were helpless. John had to restrain Ronon from killing those they passed, not that he felt any pity for the creatures; he just didn't want to waste the time. They were all going to be dead soon anyway.

The transformation would take less than an hour based on their experiment back in Atlantis, and then there would be a period of disorientation. Not a lot of time, John knew. Rodney would need to work quickly. Once they reached the bridge, Rodney connected his laptop to the Wraith's main console though the adapter he'd designed and began to work frantically, methodically breaking into the programming. John turned away from watching Rodney only when he heard Ronon say, "There you are." Glancing over, he saw Ronon squatting beside one of the Wraith. It was Michael, John realized with a start.

"No one's going to stop me this time," Ronon said, his voice cold with menace, his eyes bright with hatred. He swung a leg over the writhing body and trapped Michael's arms with his knees, restraining the thrashing body with his mass. Grasping the shorn hair tightly in his fist, he pulled Michael's head back. Staring fixedly into the Wraith's eyes, he slowly slid the sharp blade of his knife across the exposed neck leaving a deep and gaping gash in the death-pale flesh. John heard Rodney gasp as Michael's screams of agony turned into slowly fading gurgles.

Ronon stood up again and met John's eyes defiantly. John merely raised an eyebrow, and after a couple seconds Ronon moved away from Michael's corpse going from Wraith to Wraith slitting throats. The screams petered out one by one in Ronon's wake. John looked away from the sight only to see Rodney staring at Ronon in horror as he moved from body to body. Going up to Rodney, John stepped in front of his friend, blocking the scene from his sight. "It's something he has to do," he said softly to the trembling scientist. Rodney shot a shocked look at him, but then he swallowed, nodded, and returned to his work.

"Did they really think that giving us all that information wasn't going to come back to bite them in the ass?" Rodney said in a rush, using words as a coping mechanism as he always did when he was frightened. "I mean, did they just not care that once they were gone, we'd – well, not me obviously, since I was here – but that Zelenka and the others would be able to use the information they'd provided?"

"I don't know, Rodney," John answered, "but my guess is that they really didn't care what we did to the other hive ships."

"Hurry up, McKay," Ronon snapped having finished his grisly undertaking. "They're nearly done changing."

"I'm working as fast as I can," McKay snapped back shooting a quick glare at the big Satedan. "But if you think you can do this any faster, I'll be happy to step aside."

"Rodney," John said using the tone of voice that always got the other man's attention. Rodney's mouth tightened into a thin line, but he returned to his task without further argument. John shot a warning glance at Ronon, who stared back unfazed before settling into a waiting stance.

At last Rodney straightened up. "Okay, time to go. I've programmed the bay doors to open in twenty minutes."

After that, it was a mad dash to make it to the F-302 in time to power it up and get life-support going before the decompression. They made it with only five minutes to spare. Ronon entered the back first, and then Rodney clambered in and squeezed himself between the big man's legs. John was grateful that the F-302s were large enough to hold them all.

"Get off my balls, McKay," Ronon growled, giving the scientist a push.

"Sorry," Rodney squeaked, a blush covering his face, and rose up a bit before settling down more carefully. John would have laughed, but he was too busy making sure they were secure before he entered the cockpit and closed the hatch.

"There's only one extra helmet so I'll only be able to talk to one of you," John said, handing the helmet in.

"Give it to McKay," Ronon said. "You can put up with his jabbering."

Rodney turned around to glare at Ronon, but John could see the relief in his eyes as he pulled the helmet on. Once it was fastened, John climbed in, pulled on his own helmet and sealed the ship before firing up the engines.

"You okay, Rodney?" he said into radio.

"Other than suffering from my usual claustrophobia and getting to know more about Ronon's anatomy than I ever wanted to know, I'm fine. Can we leave now?"

"Yep, I think that's a good idea."

They burst out of the hive ship into an endless expanse of space. John navigated a path that would take them far away from both hive ships. He used the hive ship they'd just escaped from as a shield to hide them from the second hive. He could only hope that once the hive ship they'd been on blew up, they'd be lost to the remaining ship in the debris field.

They just cleared sufficient range when there was a blinding light as the ship exploded. There was no sound in the vacuum of space, but John turned the F-302 around so that they could watch the light show.

"Now, look!" Rodney said excitedly. "Watch the other ship."

John watched in amazement as the second ship exploded.

"How..."

John could hear the self-satisfaction in Rodney's voice. "You wanted me to take care of the other ship too, didn't you? So, while I was busy coding the self-destruct in our hive ship, I managed to slave our sister ship to the program. I figured that the others were close enough that they'd be distracted by the psychic upheaval from the transforming Wraith and wouldn't be able to detect it if I sent over a destruct code. And, hey, look! I was right."

His voice was so full of smug glee that John had to laugh. "Rodney McKay, I love you," he said around his grin.

There was shocked silence after his declaration, but John just smiled. The smile didn't last long though. A quick glance at his instruments revealed nothing that passed for a planet anywhere within the range of the F-302. There was a very real chance that Rodney's prediction of death by hypoxia was going to be their fate.

He was trying to decide which way to start flying in hopes of locating something, anything that would help them, when his instruments indicated a disturbance in nearby space. Glancing up, he watched as a hyperspace window appeared and a ship burst through.

"Sheppard, it's the Daedalus!" Rodney's excited voice cried into his ear.

He fought to contain his relief so that when he switched to the proper frequency, his voice was cool as he said, "Daedalus, this is Sheppard. Good to see you. I have a couple lost sheep with me that I'd like to bring home. Requesting permission to come aboard."

"Colonel Sheppard," Caldwell's voice said in his ear. "I'm relieved to hear your voice. Permission granted."

________________________________________

As soon as the outside atmospheric pressure read normal, John popped open the canopy of the F-302, climbed out, and tossed his helmet back into the ship. Turning to his passengers, he took Rodney's helmet from him and then reached in a hand to help the scientist up and out of the cockpit. Rodney moved stiffly as he climbed out making little 'ow' noises, much to John's amusement.

They had just reached the deck when Rodney suddenly pitched forward almost falling over and began yelling, "Ow ow ow ow ow ow," as he rubbed vigorously at his thigh. John grabbed him to keep him upright saying anxiously, "Rodney, what's wrong?"

"Cramp!" the scientist said. "Cramp, cramp, crampcrampcramp."

"Colonel Sheppard? Dr. McKay?" a voice said and John looked up to see Colonel Caldwell bearing down on them. He almost pulled his hands away from Rodney automatically, but he was afraid the scientist would fall over if he did.

"Do we need medics here?" Caldwell asked, his sharp eyes taking in how John was supporting his teammate.

John shrugged casually retaining his hold as Rodney continued to rub his leg. "He has a cramp," he told his superior officer. He nodded his head toward the F-302. "Kinda tight quarters in there."

"McKay took up too much room," Ronon said laconically coming up behind his teammates.

Rodney glared at him. "I took up too much room? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror, Man Mountain?" Rodney straightened up, and John reluctantly dropped his hands away from his body.

A small smile appeared on Caldwell's face, and then he looked at John. "Well, Colonel, I have to say that I'm glad now that your radio went out and you were unable to hear my order to return to the Daedalus."

John was surprised that the man was giving him such an easy out, and he smiled back. "Yeah, it was kinda serendipitous. Right after the radio went out, the Daedalus took out the hive ship's sensors so that I could sneak on-board and locate Ronon and McKay."

"And the hive ships?"

"I blew them up," Rodney answered arrogantly.

Caldwell looked admiringly at Rodney, much to John's displeasure. "Did you indeed, Doctor?"

"Yeah," Ronon said dryly. "Sheppard and I didn't do anything at all."

Rodney scowled at Ronon again, but Caldwell gave a little laugh. "I look forward to hearing your complete report, gentlemen," he said and made a sweeping gesture with his arm to indicate that they should leave the bay. "In the meantime, doctor, I believe we could use your assistance on some of the repairs, if you don't mind."

"Yes, yes. Of course you need my assistance," Rodney said. "However if there's nothing life-threateningly urgent, I would like to take a shower and change first." He picked at his uniform, and Caldwell's eyes widened when he saw the sticky residue from the cocoon that was smeared over McKay's jacket and trousers.

Looking at Ronon, he took in the streaks on the Satedan's clothes and skin, and said, "Of course, Doctor. Your things are in your usual cabin."

Rodney nodded, took a step forward, and almost pitched over again, a cry of pain escaping his lips. John caught him just in time.

"I'll see to it that Dr. McKay makes it to his quarters safely," John said slipping an arm around Rodney's waist to support him.

"Are you sure you don't need to go to the infirmary, Doctor?" Caldwell asked in concern.

"No, no," Rodney said even as he grimaced as if someone was cutting off his leg. "It's just a cramp."

Caldwell gave a sharp nod of his head, turned, and headed for the exit.

"I want something to eat, too," Ronon said as they started walking.

"Oh, god, yes," Rodney moaned as he limped along leaning into John's side. "Food would be good."

John chuckled and tightened the arm that encircled Rodney's waist, pulling him closer as they followed the others out of the bay.

~~~

The walk allowed the cramp in Rodney's thigh to work itself out, but when he tried to move away, John tightened his arm again and said, "Just relax, Rodney."

Rodney glanced at John in surprise, his tongue darting out nervously to lick his lips. John's stomach clenched in reaction, and his arm tightened a bit more. He felt Rodney stiffen slightly, his eyes tracking over John's face. John was sure Rodney was going to pull away, but instead, he nodded and relaxed against John's side, allowing John to "support" him as they made their way down the corridor.

As they neared Rodney's cabin door, John came to a decision, something that was going to change his relationship with Rodney forever, for good or ill. It wasn't a decision that he made lightly, nor was it something that he hadn't thought about before. In fact, he'd thought about it every time one of them nearly died, but he had always been able to sublimate the feelings after everything had calmed down. But this time, the memory of his fear for Rodney was still too fresh. They were living dangerous lives, and one day, one of them might not survive. He no longer wanted to push aside what he was feeling, what he hoped Rodney felt too. He was nervous, and he knew his timing sucked; the Daedalus was one of the worst places in two galaxies to implement his decision, but John feared that if he didn't act on it now, he might never act at all, and he was tired of not acting.

When they reached the cabin, he finally allowed Rodney to pull away from him so that the other man could enter the code to unlock his door. When the door swung open, Rodney turned to John and said, "Uh, thanks for your help-"

Before he could say anything more, John shoved Rodney into the cabin, closed the door and engaged the lock. He turned back to Rodney who was staring at him with wide eyes.

"What are you-" Rodney began, but John grabbed Rodney by his broad shoulders, shoved him up against the wall, and covered Rodney's mouth with his own.

An 'eep' sound escaped from Rodney, and he stood there stiff and unresponsive for so long that John began think he'd made the wrong decision. He started to pull back only to hear a muffled "No!" Rodney's hands reached up and grasped the lapels of John's jacket yanking him forward, mouth eager and open pressing against his lips. John moaned and leaned into the kiss, shivering as Rodney licked his way into John's mouth. John had known it would be like this. Rodney was a man of appetites; greedy and demanding. John answered the kiss, gently sucking on Rodney's tongue, nibbling his lips, and then kissing a trail across an unshaven jaw to Rodney's neck. He'd just started his descent down Rodney's neck when he was shoved back.

"Wait," Rodney gasped. "I really need to shower," and his hand reached up to touch the streak of residue from the cocoon that angled across his throat.

"Yeah, shower," John said, and leaned into Rodney's mouth again, pushing at his jacket to get it off then shrugging out of his own jacket. It was when he tugged his t-shirt over his head that Rodney realized that John meant to join him, and he found himself trapped in the other man's arms, Rodney's hot, hungry mouth claiming his.

Rodney had a VIP cabin, which meant that it was about a foot bigger than the other single cabins on the ship. It also meant that it had a tiny private bathroom. The shower stall was hardly big enough for one man let alone two, but somehow they managed to squeeze in, bodies pressed tightly together.

Warm water cascaded over them as they stood under the spray, arms locked around each other, mouths greedily kissing. John could feel Rodney's cock, thick and hard, stabbing into his hip. He slid his hands down Rodney's water-slicked back until he came to the full, rounded ass he'd long admired.

"We gotta stop doing this, you know," he murmured as he nibbled at Rodney's earlobe.

He felt Rodney stiffen and start to pull back, but he tightened arms and said with an exasperated sigh, "Not this. The almost-dying thing. We really need to stop that."

"Oh," Rodney said and melted back into him. "Yeah, I'd really, really like it if you'd stop flying headlong into danger with nuclear bombs strapped onto your ass."

"And I'd really like it if you'd pay better attention to your well-developed sense of self-preservation and not volunteer to go onto any more hive ships."

Rodney pulled back, and swallowed. "I know you think I'm a coward," he began, but his words were cut off by John's lips.

"I haven't thought you were a coward since you walked into an energy being," John told him when he raised his head to take a breath before pressing another kiss to his mouth.

Rodney pulled back and looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

John tightened his arms and relaxed into Rodney's solid body. "Really. Do you actually think I'd have a coward on my team?"

The look Rodney gave him of pleased surprise made John lower his mouth and capture another kiss. They held each other tightly and kissed long, slow kisses as their bodies rocked together.

"God, I've wanted to do this for so long," John gasped as he trailed his lips over Rodney's cheek.

"I never knew," Rodney said, breath gasping, hands sliding over Sheppard's back. "I've wanted you so much, but I didn't think you'd ever-"

His words were cut off once again when John claimed his mouth, tongue invading the wet heat of Rodney's mouth. He drew Rodney's tongue into his mouth, sucking and rubbing it with his own tongue, using his teeth to nibble at that wide, crooked mouth that he'd dreamed about night after night.

Rodney was as vocal in passion as he was any other time, and John drank in the sounds of Rodney's gasps and moans and pleas. Rodney began to rub his cock vigorously against John's hip, his own hip brushing against John's cock and sending shafts of pleasure shooting up John's spine. John twisted just a bit until their cocks brushed together, and both men groaned and tightened their arms about each other.

They stood there kissing and rubbing against each other, but John needed more, and he managed to slip one arm around and in-between their bodies. Rodney made a shuddering cry when John's hand enveloped his cock and began to stroke. He felt Rodney's nails digging into his back, and he knew that he'd have marks there, but he didn't care. All he cared about was holding Rodney, kissing him, feeling the hardness of his cock in his hand.

"Touch me, Rodney," John begged huskily, and he gasped in pleasure when Rodney's broad hand encased his cock. They thrust into each other's hands, their movements perfectly synchronized, their breathy moans echoing off the shower walls. It didn't take long. Between the relief of still being alive and the excitement of being with Rodney for the first time, John came hard, Rodney's name on his lips. Seconds later, Rodney followed him into climax.

They stood holding each other as they recovered, but then Rodney pulled back a little and said with a sigh, "As much as I'd like to stay here until we get back to Atlantis, I have work to do."

John pulled back enough to look at Rodney, and said, "Yeah." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against that wide, expressive mouth, and then wiped his hand over his belly, washing away the sticky residue of their spendings. Pushing open the stall door, he slipped out and grabbed the towel, quickly drying off and leaving the bathroom while Rodney finished with his shower.

He was pulling on his jacket when Rodney walked out into the room, damp and naked. John leaned back against the wall, crossed one foot casually over the other, folded his arms over his chest, and admired the view. Rodney bustled about grabbing fresh underwear and a clean uniform and hurriedly dressed. When he finished tying his shoes, he jumped up and stood bouncing nervously on his toes.

"So, uh, John," he said eyes glancing at John and then sliding away nervously. "This was, um-"

"Not a one time thing, Rodney," John said, an amused smile lifting one corner of his mouth.

Rodney's eyes grew wide. "It wasn't?" he asked with a squeak in his voice.

John pushed himself away from the wall and took the two steps that separated him from his scientist. He lifted a hand and cupped the side of Rodney's face. "No," he said firmly and then slid his mouth over Rodney's in a possessive kiss.

Rodney pulled back and grinned his most obnoxiously arrogant grin at John. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you could no longer resist my many charms."

John rolled his eyes and turned toward the cabin door. "Come on, Mr. Irresistible. You have a ship to fix."

As he stepped out into the corridor, he smiled when he heard a prickly, "Hey! That's Dr. Irresistible."

They walked down the hall together, shoulder to shoulder, and John felt more relaxed than he had in years as he listened to the endless flow of words from the one man in the universe he would never leave behind.


The End