Entry tags:

nc-17

Debasement (NC-17)
Title: Debasement
Author: Sandy
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~7,200
Spoilers: Through 2:19 Inferno
Category: Slash/Aliens Made Them Do It/First Time/Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own John & Rodney, alas I do not. I only make them have sex.
Prompt #6 - Restraints
My John/Rodney table

Many thanks to my beta rilestar.

Summary: While on a mission, John breaks a taboo that puts Rodney on the receiving end of the punishment.


Rodney awakened slowly, his head throbbing in rhythm with the beat of his heart, muscles aching and twitchy. As awareness slowly returned, he licked at dry lips and tried to roll over only to feel restraints holding him down. His eyes flew open and he looked around in confusion. He was completely naked and tied spread-eagled on a large bed in what looked to be someone's bedroom. Alarmed, he tugged sharply on the ropes hoping to pull free but the bonds held, the tight bindings cutting into the flesh of his wrists. There was no give, and Rodney realized he wasn't going to get loose without help.

"Sheppard!" he yelled frantically. "Ronon! Tey-" He clamped his mouth shut. No way. He didn't want Teyla coming in here and rescuing him. It would be humiliating enough if Sheppard or Ronon saw him, but he would never be able to face the beautiful Athosian woman again if she came in here and found him like this. Not that he would tell her to leave if she found him. As it was, he'd be happy if anyone found him and freed him. But, god, the utter humiliation...

Taking a deep breath to try and regain some calm, he examined his surroundings trying to get a clue as to what happened and where he was. It was nighttime, and the only light in the room came from two tall, fat candles that stood on a small table next to the bed. The gloom made it hard to see anything in detail, but the room appeared to be furnished with heavy, hand-carved furniture. The walls were bare and painted with a plain whitewash. From the general rustic properties of the room, he assumed that he was still on M7X-351. Weak moonlight outlined two tall windows covered by thin curtains. A chill breeze blew through the open windows, billowing the curtains and causing Rodney to shiver as the draft wafted over his bare skin.

Rodney yanked again at the bindings that held him, and lifted his head once more to call out. He was cold, uncomfortable in his nudity, scared - an emotion that was fast becoming his default setting since they'd come to the Pegasus Galaxy - and confused. The last thing he remembered before waking up and discovering his current predicament was feeling the jolt of an energy weapon, something that he never would have expected on this bucolic, backwater planet.

The village they had found after stepping through the Stargate appeared to be a typical agrarian community. A matriarchal society, Teyla had been greeted with great respect while the men had been treated politely if somewhat coolly. Sheppard, of course, had turned on the charm, and the Chief Elder, a thin, pinch-faced woman about sixty Earth years old, had thawed a bit. Rodney had taken Sheppard's advice and tried to keep his natural arrogance under control, no mean feat in what he'd thought was a technologically backward village, but he'd done his best. Apparently he hadn't done as well as he'd thought, and now he was...

Well, he really didn't know what he was. He had no clue what was going on. All he knew was that he was chained to a bed, totally naked and cold with no clue as to what was happening. Was he going to be used as a sex slave? Had they decided that a man of his obvious extraordinary intelligence would make prime breeding stock? He had every intention of passing on his genes – after all, the universe deserved to have his progeny in it – but it was going to be at his time and choosing, and that time was not now on a primitive planet at the ass-end of the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Sheppard!" he yelled again, tugging frantically on the bindings that held him. Surely the Colonel was going to rescue him. That's what they did, after all, rescue each other. It was Sheppard's turn apparently.

Unless... What if Sheppard and Ronon were also captives? What if Teyla was being held prisoner while the men were being used for stud service? Granted the two other men weren't as superior as Rodney, but they had their own attributes that would attract men-hungry Amazons. Rodney hadn't seen many men on their tour of the village, and what he'd seen hadn't been very prepossessing. What if they planned to use them in some sort of fertility ritual involving knives and blood and...

Rodney yanked his arms again as his panicked imagination began running away with him. He was drawing in breath to call for help once more when the door to the chamber opened. A figure stood in the shadow-filled doorway. At first, Rodney couldn't make out who it was, and then with a rush of relief he realized it was the Colonel.

"Sheppard! Oh, thank god," Rodney sighed. He rested his head back on the pillow for an instant and closed his eyes in relief. When he didn't hear any sounds of Sheppard entering the room, he lifted his head again, jerked his arms about to bring attention to the restraints, and demanded, "Well, come on! Cut me loose."

It was only after Sheppard stepped into the room that Rodney realized that his team leader wasn't dressed in his uniform. Instead he wore a long, black, robe-like garment. As he walked slowly across the room, Rodney also noticed his feet were bare.

"What...what's going on?" Rodney asked in a worried voice. This could not be good, he knew. This just had to be several levels of bad.

Sheppard didn't say anything until he stood next to the bed, unnaturally stiff. He made no move to release Rodney, and in fact, he very intently stared at the wall over Rodney's head and avoided looking directly at him.

"Sheppard, what's going on?" Rodney asked again. He could hear the slight tremor in his voice.

Sheppard closed his eyes, swallowed, and breathed in deeply as if to steady himself. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. Finally he opened his eyes and looked at Rodney.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Do I look okay?" Rodney asked in frustration. "I'm tied up here." He shook his arms again in emphasis. "And I'm...I'm, uh, out of uniform." He felt his face heating up, but he bravely went on. "Just cut me loose."

Sheppard swallowed again and shook his head. "I can't, Rodney," he said in a strained voice. His whole demeanor was causing Rodney to feel even more frightened than he had before. Oh, yes. There was bad on an apocalyptic scale happening here.

Rodney let his head flop back onto the pillow, and he stared at the ceiling.

"What's going on, Sheppard? Did I do something wrong? Is that why I'm tied up like this?"

He glanced again at the other man when there was no immediate answer. Sheppard had his eyes closed again and his throat was working as if he were trying to keep from crying or throwing up. Rodney's fear level began ratcheting up and his anxiety built until Sheppard finally opened his eyes again.

"It wasn't you, Rodney. It was me."

Rodney blinked in surprise. Sheppard never made mistakes in protocol. It was always Rodney and his poor social skills and unrelenting sarcasm that led to insulted natives.

"You? What did you do?"

"I..." Sheppard straightened his shoulders and appeared to brace himself. "The Chief Elder says that I insulted their Holy Woman. That I...debased her."

"What?" Rodney exclaimed. "Oh, no no no. That's just not possible."

Sheppard's jaw clenched. "It is possible. I didn't mean to, didn't even know that I had, but I did, and now..."

"Now, what?" Rodney demanded just barely keeping his panic under control. "How the hell did you debase her? And what does any of that have to do with me?"

Sheppard didn't answer, just stood there staring at the wall, his hands clenching and unclenching, clenching and unclenching.

Rodney didn't think he could feel any more scared, but Sheppard's odd behavior was starting to terrify him. He began to tug on his bonds again in a desperate attempt to get free. "Cut me loose, Sheppard," he demanded.

"I can't, Rodney," John said desperately. "Don't you think I would have freed you already if I could? I can't."

"Why the hell not?" Rodney yelled. "Your hands aren't tied." He increased his efforts to get free, pulling desperately against his restraints, feeling the pain as the ropes cut into his already abraded flesh, hysteria nipping at his heels.

"Rodney, stop it!" Sheppard said, reaching down to hold Rodney still. Rodney thrashed about a bit more, but then collapsed back into the mattress, gasping for breath, exhausted from his exertions.

As soon as Rodney had calmed, Sheppard lifted his hands away and straightened up again stepping away from Rodney. "We were all stunned," he began in a tight, emotionless voice. "When I woke up, I was alone except for the Chief Elder and her council. They told me that I'd committed a "foul imposition" against the person of the village's Holy Woman."

Rodney could practically hear the quotes around the words 'foul imposition'. He stared at Sheppard wide-eyed as his friend continued his explanation.

"She had tripped," Sheppard said, his jaw clenching between sentences, "and I caught her before she fell. But, see, no man is allowed to touch the Holy Woman. It's the worse crime any man can commit on this world. They said that the punishment was death, but the Holy Woman had argued against death since I'm an off-worlder and ignorant of their ways. So instead of executing me they demanded that atonement be made. They said that if I refused..." He stopped and swallowed, breathing rapidly in short, hitching breaths. "They said if I refused, they would exact the death penalty on not only me but the entire team."

Rodney gasped at Sheppard's words. Sheppard swallowed again and continued. "They told me that since I had violated the Holy Woman, I must now violate one of my own."

Rodney felt his blood run cold. It didn't take a genius to figure out where this was going. After all, no one else in the room was hog-tied and spread out naked on a bed.

"But why me?" he asked in an anxious voice. "Why not Teyla? She's a woman."

He winced when Sheppard looked at him with eyes gone hard and cold and felt shame at his words. Still... "Look, it's not that I want Teyla violated but... why me?"

Sheppard shook his head and sighed. "She's a woman. This is a matriarchal society. They honor women."

"But they're still threatening to kill her?" Rodney asked. "That's okay to their crazy way of thinking?"

"Yeah," Sheppard said tiredly. "And Ronon is Satedan. Soldiers from Sateda helped them against the Wraith once a couple generations ago, and so..."

"And so that leaves me," Rodney said. Sheppard nodded, looking more miserable than Rodney had ever seen him, and it finally dawned on Rodney just how truly awful this was for Sheppard. Really, all Rodney had to do was lie back and think of Atlantis. It was Sheppard who had to do the actual violating, whatever that turned out to be. And Rodney was pretty sure that whatever it was, it was probably going to be horrible and traumatic for both of them.

But if there was one thing Rodney knew about Sheppard, it was that Sheppard wouldn't deliberately do anything to hurt him; he'd do everything he could to lessen the pain for Rodney. No matter what they had to do, they'd get through this, and then they'd gather up their teammates and get the hell out of Dodge. Rodney could only hope that their friendship survived this ordeal.

"Are we being watched?" he asked, a sudden idea coming to him.

Sheppard shook his head. "I don't think so. I got the impression that even talking about what they were demanding was disgusting to them. I'm pretty sure they aren't watching."

"Then maybe you could lie. Just go out and tell them you had-"

"Do you really want to take the chance that they won't know I'm lying?" Sheppard asked sharply.

Rodney thought about it for a few seconds and then shook his head. "No, I guess not. What do we have to do?" Rodney asked in as calm a voice as he could muster.

Sheppard got that sick look on his face again, and said, "I'm...I'm supposed to take you. From what they were saying, in their culture using you that way is the worst violation possible between two men."

Rodney closed his eyes. Okay, it was more or less what he'd been expecting. He could live through it. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about doing this with Sheppard anyway. Of course, in his fantasies, John wasn't being forced to rape him.

Taking a deep breath, Rodney asked, "Lube?"

Sheppard's eyes widened and he could see that he'd shocked the man with his calm question.

"Uh," Sheppard said, and looked around the room as if expecting to see a tube of the stuff magically appear.

"Maybe there's something in the drawers?" Rodney prompted.

"Yeah, right," Sheppard said and began to pull out the drawers on the table next to the bed. When that failed, he made a methodic search of the room.

Nothing.

Great, just great, Rodney thought. This was going to hurt. A lot.

Sheppard returned to the bed empty-handed, looking a little green. Rodney sighed. "Let's just do it and get out of here, okay?"

"Rodney, if I... I'll hurt you."

Rodney swallowed down his own fear and said as bravely as he could, "I think that's pretty much the plan, Colonel. Just... just try to be as gentle as you can, okay?"

Sheppard's throat worked again as if he were swallowing back bile, but then he reached up, untied his robe with shaking hands, and let it drop into a puddle at his feet. Rodney couldn't help but stare. Sheppard was lean, with a thick coating of hair across his chest and belly, but Rodney already knew that from the time they'd had to stop his heart to get the Iratus bug off his neck. His legs were long and straight and also liberally covered with dark hair. His cock...well, his cock reflected Sheppard's current state of mind, because it just lay there amid the nest of black curls, small and vulnerable looking. Rodney would have felt insulted if it wasn't for the fact that his own cock was lying soft and passive in its own nest of curls.

Sheppard hesitantly took a step forward, and then squared his shoulders and crawled up onto the bed to kneel between Rodney's parted thighs. He looked down at Rodney's groin and a shudder rippled through his body. Then squaring his shoulders, he reached down and began to stroke his cock.

It would have been hot watching Sheppard jerk himself off except for the fact that Sheppard's cock refused to respond. No matter how hard he pumped, it remained soft and unresponsive. The bed shook from the force of Sheppard's movements, and a sob escaped his lips as he worked his cock trying to achieve an erection. Rodney began to fear that he was going to do permanent damage to himself."

"Sheppard, stop," Rodney said. "Stop it; you're going to hurt yourself."

With a whimper of despair, Sheppard's hand dropped from his cock, and he bowed his head, gasping for breath.

"I can't do it," Sheppard whispered in a defeated voice.

"If you don't," Rodney reminded him, "they'll kill us."

"Jesus, Rodney, I know!" Sheppard cried out. "How can I... I can't." His voice sounded more broken than Rodney had ever heard it.

"Look, maybe instead of, uh, that, we do something else."

"They were pretty clear about what I had to do," he said miserably. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "There has to be penetration."

"What if you, uh, penetrate my mouth instead," Rodney said quickly.

Sheppard froze, and Rodney couldn't help but notice that his cock twitched just a little at Rodney's words.

"What?"

"I'd think they'd think that was pretty degrading, don't you?" Rodney asked. "You'd be in complete control, and I'd have to let you do whatever you wanted. You'd still be penetrating me, it would just be in a different, uh, orifice."

John was staring at Rodney's mouth, and his cock, which had shown no interest in Rodney so far, was beginning to lengthen and grow hard. Rodney felt his own quiescent cock twitch in response.

Knowing that it would be easier on both of them if Rodney just sucked him off, he said, "Come up here, John," using his friend's given name for the first time. "We can do this."

Another shudder passed through John's body, but this time, Rodney wasn't so sure it was from revulsion. John crawled up Rodney's body, and by the time he was straddling Rodney's chest, his cock was more than half hard.

Rodney licked his lips and said, "Just remember not to choke me, and make sure I can breathe, okay?"

John nodded his head, and then Rodney swallowed and opened his mouth. John took hold of his penis and directed it into Rodney's open mouth. As soon as the head had passed over his lips, Rodney closed his mouth and gently sucked.

John gasped and his hips bucked forward. Rodney sucked and licked and the cock went from semi-flaccid to full hardness in a matter of seconds. Rodney licked everywhere his tongue could touch. John was breathing heavily but kept perfectly still.

"Fuck me," Rodney mumbled around his mouthful of now rock-hard cock. John's hips jerked at Rodney's words. He hesitated only a few seconds more, and then he finally got with the program and began to move; short, shallow thrusts that barely penetrated Rodney's mouth.

Rodney closed his eyes and concentrated on giving John as much pleasure as he could. This was a horrible situation they found themselves in, but Rodney had John's cock in his mouth, something he'd never believed he'd ever have and would probably never have again. He may be a selfish bastard for doing it, but he intended to use the opportunity to take whatever enjoyment he could.

Swirling his tongue, he licked and stroked and sucked, hoping that he was giving John pleasure. It was hard to tell though because John was completely silent except for the sound of his harsh breathing. Rodney opened his eyes again to see John braced with both hands against the wall, his eyes shut and his face closed off, his hips thrusting, forcing his cock deeper and deeper into Rodney's mouth.

Rodney's own cock was now achingly hard, and he wished his arms were free so he could give himself some relief while John continued to fuck his mouth, but he wasn't free so he'd just have to wait his turn. He applied more suction, and John moaned, the first sound he'd made, and began to thrust faster, harder, and deeper. Rodney was afraid for a minute that John would go too deep, would choke him or cut off his breathing, but instead, with no warning at all, Sheppard suddenly cried out and froze filling Rodney's mouth with the bitter taste of his semen. Rodney swallowed as best he could, but the strong pulses were more than he could handle and the hot, sticky fluid dribbled out of either side of his mouth and ran down his neck onto the pillow below his head.

At last John finished, and to Rodney's relief, he pulled his now softening cock out of Rodney's mouth. Rodney flexed his jaw, sore muscles aching from holding his jaw open for so long, and took in deep breaths. John pulled away from Rodney and slid off the bed. He held onto the mattress for a moment and then straightened up. He didn't look at Rodney, didn't speak, just picked up and donned his robe and then headed toward the door.

"Hey," Rodney called after him, his voice raspy. "Where are you going? Cut me loose!"

Sheppard ignored him, leaving the room and closing the door with a click that seemed to reverberate around the room.

Rodney's head fell back onto the now wet, sticky pillow.

"Great," he muttered. "Just great."

~~~

The return trip to Atlantis was uncomfortably quiet. After being released, Rodney had hurriedly dressed and located his teammates in the village square. Sheppard still refused to look at him, and Ronon and Teyla looked confused and concerned. Rodney felt his heart twist a little when all Sheppard said when he rejoined the group was a terse, "Let's go." Rodney began to wonder if Sheppard would ever look at him again.

The cool, clean lines of Atlantis soothed Rodney as they exited the wormhole, and he felt some of his tension leave him. He spotted Elizabeth waiting for them on the upper balcony, and he turned to Sheppard. "We should-"

"I'll debrief Elizabeth," John said in a tight voice, eyes never turning Rodney's way. "You three go see Beckett." Without another word, he walked away from them.

"J- Sheppard," Rodney called after him. "I should-"

"Just do as I ordered, McKay," John said tiredly, his back to Rodney. "I'll take care of the debrief."

"Fine," Rodney said with a sigh. He walked across the Gateroom and up the stairs in Sheppard's wake, but instead of going to Elizabeth's office, he headed for the transporter.

"What's going on?" Ronon asked.

Rodney just shook his head. "Sheppard will let you know what he wants you to know."

"McKay," Ronon said in a warning tone of voice.

"Let it be, Ronon," Teyla interrupted. "As Rodney said, Colonel Sheppard will tell us what we need to know."

Rodney shot Teyla a grateful glance as the three of them stepped into the transporter.


Rodney fidgeted impatiently while Carson examined the rope burns on his wrists.

"What happened, Rodney?" Carson asked in concern.

Rodney tugged his arms out of Carson's grasp and snapped, "Nothing. A little misunderstanding with the natives. I'm fine."

He ignored the surprised looks on everyone's face. He had no intention of telling Carson or anyone else what had actually happened, and he was relieved when he was called away from the infirmary to take care of an emergency. By the time it was resolved, several hours had passed. Rodney was alone in his lab finishing up his report on the near disaster when Radek walked into the room.

"Why is Colonel Sheppard under arrest?" he asked Rodney.

Rodney was concentrating on the technical details of his report and so it took several seconds before Radek's words registered. When they did, his head snapped up in shock. "What did you say?"

"I overheard two of the Marines saying that Colonel Sheppard was in his quarters under house arrest. What happened?"

Rodney stood up, his emotions flipping between fear for his friend and outright rage. He pushed past Zelenka without a word and made his way to Elizabeth's office. Storming into the room, he shot one seething glance at the Gateroom technician who was meeting with Elizabeth and snapped, "Get out."

The Canadian Sergeant took one look at Rodney's face and beat a hasty retreat. When he was gone, Rodney turned his piercing gaze on Elizabeth.

"What do you think you're doing, putting Sheppard under arrest?" he demanded.

Elizabeth frowned at his tone of voice, but then sighed. "Sit down, Rodney," she said as she activated the control that closed the door to her office.

Instead of sitting down, Rodney leaned over Elizabeth's desk and glared at her. "I cannot believe you did this, Elizabeth."

"Sit down, Rodney," she said again with more force. Rodney hesitated, but then complied. When he was seated, Elizabeth sighed again and ran a hand over her forehead. "You know I had no choice, Rodney. Colonel Sheppard demanded that I place him under arrest for gross sexual misconduct and rape, and after hearing his report, I agreed with him."

Rodney jumped up from his seat. "Are you insane? Didn't you think that you should hear my version of events before you locked him up?"

"Did he or did he not rape you on M7X-351?"

Rodney hesitated. "It wasn't like that," he insisted.

"No? According to Colonel Sheppard it was very much like that. You were tied up, helpless, and he forced himself on you. Are you telling me that's not what happened?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," Rodney insisted.

Elizabeth sat back in her seat, and Rodney could see the play of emotions that crossed her face before her diplomat's mask slipped back into place.

"Tell me your version of events then, Rodney."

Rodney began to pace. "I suppose he told you about his gentlemanly effort to keep their clumsy oaf of a Holy Woman from falling on her face?" he asked.

Elizabeth's eyebrows raised a little and she said, "No. What does that have to do with it?"

"Oh, I don't know, Elizabeth. How about everything?" Rodney said with a dramatic sweep of his arms. "It turns out that the women of M7X-351 all belong to the He-Woman Man Haters Club, and it's a big taboo for men to touch their precious Holy Woman. Of course, no one mentioned that before Sheppard kept her from doing a face-plant. This is a big sacrilege in their culture, and by the way, let me interject here just how much I hate religion, so they used energy weapons we weren't even aware they had to knock us out. Then they stripped me and tied me up, then told Sheppard that he'd violated the Holy Woman and if he wanted to keep all of us alive he'd have to, uh, violate me. Sheppard said it was an eye-for-an-eye thing."

Rodney looked unflinchingly at Elizabeth who looked back at him in shock.

"Colonel Sheppard didn't mention any of that. He simply said that you were tied up and he forced himself on you. He wouldn't explain further. He just said the circumstances didn't matter, just the crime."

Rodney sank down into the chair he'd abandoned earlier and tiredly rubbed his face. He looked at Elizabeth again and said in a much calmer voice, "Yeah, well, sometimes he's an idiot. He was raped just as much as I was, Elizabeth. Believe me when I tell you that he did not want to do what he did. Look, this can't go on his record. It'd be all Caldwell needs to have Sheppard relieved of command. He'll be ruined, put in prison, all because he did what he had to do to save us."

"Were you hurt, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked in a concerned voice.

Rodney shook his head, and he could feel heat suffusing his face. "No, I'm fine. Believe me, it could have been worse, but we worked out a way to comply with their demands without damaging ourselves. At least physically," he finished with a sigh.

"Rodney, I want you to see Dr. Height-"

Rodney held up his hand, cutting off her words. "I'll see her if you insist, though I really don't need to. I'm fine, Elizabeth. But you've got to release Sheppard from custody, and you need to do it now before the rumor mill gets out of control."

Elizabeth looked consideringly at Rodney for several long seconds, and then clicked her radio. "Weir to Major Lorne."

Rodney couldn't hear Lorne's end of the conversation since it was on a private channel, but he could hear Elizabeth's.

"Major, Colonel Sheppard is hereby released from house arrest and returned to active duty. Your men can stand down from guard duty."

Rodney huffed out a breath in relief and stood up. When Elizabeth finished her conversation with Lorne, Rodney said, "I need to go talk to Sheppard."

Elizabeth nodded her head. "I think that's a very good idea, Rodney."


Rodney stopped outside of Sheppard's quarters, now mercifully free of Marine guards, and contemplated how to handle the next few minutes. His usual method was to just rant and bully, but perhaps in this situation he should use a kinder, gentler approach.

Then again, tried and true methods generally worked best.

He breathed in a deep, fortifying breath, and opened the door. Sheppard was sitting on the side of his bed, elbows on knees, hands locked together in front of him, and head bowed; the perfect picture of dejection. Rodney wanted to smack him. He looked up in surprise when his door opened, and his eyes widened when he saw Rodney standing there.

"May I come in?" Rodney asked and then stepped into the room letting the door shut behind him without bothering to wait for Sheppard's approval. "Thank you."

Sheppard stood up and faced him. "You shouldn't be here, Rodney."

"And where exactly should I be, Colonel?" Rodney asked with a sneer. "In my quarters writing up my testimony for your court-martial?"

Sheppard's jaw flexed, and he said, "I don't know why the guards let you in here, Rodney, but I want you to leave now."

"The guards are gone, Colonel," Rodney said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I explained to Elizabeth the circumstances of the incident on M7X-351, and she agrees with me that no crime was committed and there's no need to make the incident part of your official record."

Sheppard took one step forward, his hands fisted at his side. "And since when did rape become a non-crime?" he asked through clenched teeth

"And since when does the victim of rape get arrested for it?" Rodney snapped back.

"I wasn't the victim!" John argued.

"The hell you weren't!" Rodney yelled back.

"I forced you to blow me!"

"You didn't force me to do anything!"

"You telling me you wanted to blow me?"

"Compared to the alternative, then, yes, I did."

Sheppard clenched his jaw again. "It was still rape."

"To you. Not by you."

"I put my dick in your mouth, Rodney."

"At my suggestion! Jesus, Sheppard, I wanted your dick in my mouth."

"Because you had no choice!"

"Regardless of choice, I wanted it."

"The hell you did!"

"I did," Rodney said. His frustration overcame his good sense and he advanced on John. "I've wanted it for a long time, and I'd be happy to do it again."

At Sheppard's look of disbelief, he waved his arms around emphatically and said, "Do you want me to prove it? Because I can prove it right now." He stopped in front of Sheppard and fell dramatically to his knees.

Hard.

"Ow! Ow ow ow ow!" he said and grasped his throbbing left knee.

"Shit, Rodney!" John said and knelt down in front of him. "What the hell did you do?"

"Kneecap," Rodney gasped. "Broke my kneecap."

"Come on," John said and helped Rodney up and over to the bed. When Rodney was sitting on the side of the bed, John knelt on the floor in front of him and began to rub the injured knee.

"I don't think it's broken," John said soothingly.

"What, now you have x-ray vision as part of your Ancient gene superpowers?" Rodney said cuttingly.

John smiled at him. "You're such a hypochondriac, McKay," he said but there was affection in his voice, and his hand continued to rub Rodney's knee. His other hand rested warmly on Rodney's right thigh. The pain began to subside to be replaced by a much more pleasant feeling.

"Yes," Rodney said trying to focus on the discussion at hand. "And you keep trying to throw yourself under the bus. That's a very unattractive trait, you know."

"Rodney," John began and pulled his hand away from Rodney's knee. Rodney grabbed in and put it back.

"My knee still hurts," he said in a slightly breathy voice.

John looked at him as the palm of his hand again made soothing circles on his knee. "That better?" he asked softly.

"It's getting there," Rodney said, his eyes held captive by John's.

"I didn't want to hurt you," John said softly.

"And you didn't. I dropped to my knees too fast."

"I didn't mean this," John said with a frown. His left hand was now getting into the action, rubbing soothing circles on Rodney's right thigh, and his right hand moved up to rub Rodney's left thigh.

"I know what you meant," Rodney said and wondered if John was aware that he was getting hard from John's touch. He hesitated a second and then said, "I meant what I said, John. I wanted to blow you."

John's hands stopped their motion, and he said hesitantly, "Well, like you said, it was better than the alternative."

"Without lube it was," Rodney said with a crooked smile.

John's hands tightened where they still rested on Rodney's thighs, and then he began stroking Rodney's thighs again, moving up and down from knee to hip.

John licked his lips and said, "You know, for a straight guy, you did a pretty good job of it."

"Who said I was straight?" Rodney asked. If this was going to go somewhere – and with the way John was stroking him, Rodney was almost certain that it was - then it was time for Rodney to lay his cards on the table. He couldn't help but remember how John's cock had responded when he had suggested that John fuck his mouth.

John's hands stilled again, and he said, "You like beautiful blonde women."

Rodney shrugged. "They're hot."

"And men?" John asked holding himself perfectly still.

"Sometimes they're hot, too."

John's eyes darkened as he stared into Rodney's eyes, and then he lowered his head to press a kiss to the inside of Rodney's right thigh. Rodney gasped as his cock got achingly hard. Even through the layer of cloth from his trousers, the kiss burned into Rodney's flesh.

"I think I owe you a blow job," John said. He lifted his hands to the waistband of Rodney's pants and began to undo them. Rodney gasped as the knuckles of John's hand brushed against his erection, but before John could get all the buttons undone, Rodney grasped John's hands.

"John, you don't have to do this. You don't owe me anything. We did what we had to do, remember?"

"But if I want to?"

"John," Rodney began, but his words were cut off when John stretched up and covered Rodney's mouth with his own.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, Rodney thought. John was kissing him! Rodney had occasionally imagined what kissing John would be like, but the reality was so much better. John's lips were soft yet firm, gentle yet demanding, and when he flicked his tongue over Rodney's lips, Rodney opened up for him.

John licked at him as if he were the richest ice cream, and then pulled back to nip at Rodney's lower lip before plunging back into Rodney's eager mouth. His tongue curled around Rodney's and then he sucked, just a little, just enough to make Rodney moan and gasp.

He pulled back, brushed one last kiss around Rodney's swollen lips, and said, "I want to, Rodney."

Rodney released John's hands only now becoming aware he'd been squeezing them during their kiss, and leaned back a little watching as John deftly undid his trousers and pushed them open. John leaned down and buried his face in Rodney's crotch, breathing deeply.

Rodney's hips jerked, and he closed his eyes and gasped in pleasure. Opening his eyes again, he gazed down at probably the hottest sight he'd ever seen in his life – John rubbing his face in Rodney's crotch.

"Fuck, John," he whispered reverently.

John pulled his head back, smiled up at Rodney, and then slipped his hand into Rodney's boxers and pulled out his thick, hard cock.

Rodney's breathing and heart rate sped up as John stroked Rodney's length. Rodney put his hands behind him on the bed to brace himself and thrust into John's hand. When John licked his lips and lowered his head, Rodney almost came right then.

It was pretty evident from the first tentative lick that John wasn't an expert at giving head, and Rodney almost stopped him. As much as he wanted John, if John wasn't into men, then Rodney wasn't going to let him continue, especially after what John had already been through that day. But then John swallowed him down and began to suck and Rodney couldn't have stopped him if Lorne broke in and threatened to shoot him.

Rodney tried his best to keep his hips still as John sucked and licked and stroked, but god it was so good. John may not have ever given a blow job before, but he appeared to be a quick study, and long before Rodney wanted it to end, he felt his climax building. He braced himself on one hand and pushed at John's shoulder with the other, dislodging him just before the pulses hit. Come splattered against his shirt as wave after wave of pleasure shot through him.

When he was finished, he collapsed back onto John's bed and closed his eyes sucking in deep gulps of air. He felt the bed dip as John came up to lie beside him. When his heart finally stopped pounding and the aftershocks had passed, he turned his head and looked over at John.

"You didn't have to do that, John," he said with a slightly breathless voice.

John smiled and said, "We already had this conversation."

"You cheated. You distracted me."

John grinned and said, "Well, that was the objective," and leaned down as if to kiss Rodney again.

Rodney put one hand up and grabbed John by the shoulder stopping him. "We're even now. You don't have to do anything more."

John pulled back and frowned. "That wasn't about getting even, Rodney. I told you I wanted to do it. I thought you wanted it too."

Rodney sighed, got off the bed, and began to straighten his clothes. "Of course I wanted it," he snapped. "Popular opinion to the contrary, I am a man. I vote yes on blow jobs." Buttoning the last button, he at last looked at John. "Also contrary to popular opinion, I'm not such a jerk that I like the idea of taking advantage of straight friends who have the misguided notion that they have to perform oral sex on me because they feel a sense of obligation."

John got off the bed and stood glaring at Rodney. "Is that what you think that was? Me fulfilling an obligation?"

"How many blow jobs have you given prior to this, Colonel?" Rodney asked, his temper staring to flare. Dammit, he was trying to do the right thing here. Rodney wasn't so noble that he would turn down blow jobs or hand jobs or anything else Sheppard offered him if the man kept insisting he wanted to do it.

Sheppard stood with hands on hips and scowled at him. "There's a first time for everything, McKay," he snapped. "Even you had to begin somewhere."

"I began when I was sixteen years old in college and rather stupidly fell in love with my roommate," Rodney said. "I did not begin in my late thirties after a lifetime of heterosexuality because I felt obliged to offer up recompense for something that wasn't my fault." The last ended in a roar.

Sheppard took a rather menacing step toward him. "I didn't do it out of obligation!" he snarled. "What part of 'I wanted to do it' don't you understand?"

"The part where you wanted to do it!" Rodney shot back, hands flailing. "Before today, have you ever once thought about having sex with me?"

"Yes!" John yelled.

Rodney blinked. "You have?" he asked in a stunned voice.

John shook his head. "Christ, you’re one blind son-of-a-bitch, McKay," he said and then grabbed Rodney's head to pull him in for another kiss.

This kiss was every bit as amazing as the first one had been. John might not have much experience with blow jobs, but he knew quite a bit about kissing. When they finally drew back, Rodney asked rather breathlessly, "When?"

John rolled his eyes and said, "How about every time you save our asses, and you get that smug, superior look on your face that doesn't quite cover just how scared you were? Or how about every time you do something incredibly, stupidly brave like face off against an unkillable Wraith to save my sorry ass?"

Rodney knew he was staring at him stupidly, because John smiled a smug smile of his own and kissed him again, wrapping his arms around him.

When the kiss ended, John held him in a loose embrace and said, "Or how about every time you get that gob-smacked look on your face when you discover, yet again, that I'm not as stupid as you think I am? Or the times when you're just happy because we're hanging out together thinking up crazy ideas to present to Elizabeth? Or the times we're watching a movie together, and you can't shut up and keep making sarcastic comments at the screen that have me laughing so hard, I can't hear the damned movie? Should I go on?" he asked kissing Rodney again.

When he pulled back he smiled a crooked, half-apologetic smile. "I'll be honest, Rodney. This isn't anything I expected. You kind of snuck up on me."

Rodney's mouth opened and closed a few times while he tried to make sense of what John was telling him. "But... but... why didn't you ever..." Rodney flailed a hand around nearly smacking John in the head, "you know, make a move or anything?"

John raised one eyebrow. "Babbling about beautiful blondes? Dating Katie Brown? Trying to impress Norina Pero? Any of that sound the least bit like you were interested in men? I've...felt things for men for as long as I can remember, but I never acted on it. I've known what I wanted to do since I was a kid, and there wasn't any guy I ever met that was worth taking a chance on."

He smiled again and shook his head wonderingly. "Until you. You, with those eyes and that mouth and, Christ, that ego. I've wanted you for a long time, but I was afraid to just come out and make a pass at you, Rodney. If you freaked out, that could have been it for my career. And our friendship. I wasn't willing to take a chance on losing that. But I've been flirting with you for the past two years. Apparently, you never picked up on it. "

Rodney blinked. "Huh," he said, stunned.

"Of course, why it surprises me you never picked up on it, I couldn't tell you," John continued with a smirk. "I could probably have walked naked into your bedroom, and you'd have wanted to know if the clothes cleaners had broken down and complain that you had to fix everything in this city."

"Hey!" Rodney said indignantly. "That's an incredibly...well, accurate statement." He grinned in response to John's laugh, and then wrapped his hands around the back of John's head and drew him in for another kiss.


The end